A Full Therapeutic Disclosure, also known as the Rite of Truth, is a professionally facilitated event where the discloser reads a document describing his history of sexual infidelity and betrayal, with the option of confirmation by polygraph.
This is followed by a Letter of Impact from the betrayed partner and a Letter of Restitution from the discloser. Each partner works with a coach or therapist to support them throughout the process. The Rite of Truth is about giving the betrayed partner the gift of truth on her terms in a safe and supportive environment. It is not about exploiting the discloser and all his sins but about inviting him to share the whole truth with the help and support of caring professionals. The Rite of Truth is meant to build a foundation of truth and safety. |
Step #1 Prep
- With the support of her coach, the betrayed partner determines what she does and does not want to know and develops her questions, which will be included in the Rite of Truth document. She also works on boundaries, self-regulation techniques, and self-care plans for before, during, and after the Rite of Truth.
- With the support of his coach, the discloser works on his sexual history timeline and begins writing the Rite of Truth document and responding to questions submitted by his partner. He also works on self-regulation techniques, empathy skills, and self-care plans for before, during, and after the Rite of Truth.
Step #2 Rite of Truth
- The discloser reads the Rite of Truth document to his partner and support team.
- The betrayed partner has the opportunity to ask follow-up questions.
Step #3 Polygraph
- An option for additional accountability and is meant to be celebratory. It can be administered before or after the Rite of Truth document is read. The supporting coaches can assist in finding a polygrapher in your area.
- It usually consists of 1-3 questions, one of which tests the validity of the Rite of Truth document.
Step #4 Letter of Impact
- The betrayed partner takes time to process the Rite of Truth document and, with the help of her coach, responds with a letter of impact. This is her opportunity to share her truth and the profound impact of betrayal.
- She reads the letter of impact to her partner and supporting coaches. Sharing her truth in the presence of witnesses helps validate her pain and can be very empowering.
Step #5 Letter of Restitution
- The discloser takes time to process the letter of impact and, with his coach's help, responds with a letter of restitution. This is his opportunity to acknowledge her pain and lay out a plan to rebuild safety and trust.
- He reads the letter of restitution to his partner and supporting coaches.